However, when a couple perceived as “different” decides to have a child, the conversation shifts—often toward scrutiny and criticism.
Most people experience unsolicited opinions when it comes to having children. Society often imposes an unspoken expectation: find a stable job, meet a partner, get married, and start a family. Those who choose not to have children are frequently questioned and sometimes even judged.
A Surprise That Changed Everything
Over 20 years ago, Patti White from California received life-changing news. Her daughter, Lisa, who has Down syndrome, announced she was pregnant. While many people with Down syndrome live independently, hold jobs, and maintain relationships, it is rare for a man with Down syndrome to father a child. This made Lisa’s pregnancy both unexpected and groundbreaking.
At the time, Lisa was 29, had lived on her own for over a decade, and worked full-time at Goodwill. She was in a committed relationship with a man who also had Down syndrome. Though they lived separately, they had a healthy adult relationship, and Lisa’s mother had spoken to her about topics like birth control and safe sex.
Patti vividly recalls the moment she learned she was going to be a grandmother. “I had just returned from lunch when I heard Lisa’s voicemail: ‘Hi, Mom, I just wanted you to know you’re going to be a GRANDMOTHER!’” The news left Patti in shock. “My mind went in all directions. How could this be? Her boyfriend has Down syndrome!”
Facing Judgment and Challenges
Lisa’s decision to have a child was met with criticism. Many outsiders deemed it irresponsible and questioned her ability to be a good mother. Some of her friendships even suffered, as parents feared Lisa would influence their daughters to want children as well.
Despite the judgment, Lisa’s family stood firmly by her side. Her pregnancy was considered high-risk, and she received close medical supervision. She attended childbirth classes, had a pregnancy coach, and experienced the typical symptoms of pregnancy, including morning sickness and fatigue.
Her son, Nic, was born four weeks early and, like his parents, has Down syndrome. Though Lisa and Nic’s father initially tried to raise him together, their arrangement didn’t work out. Tragically, Nic’s father passed away when Nic was just five years old.
A Mother’s Love and an Inspiring Journey
Lisa, with the unwavering support of her mother, raised Nic to be a thriving, independent young man. Now 24, Nic is a college graduate who deeply appreciates the love and dedication of the women who raised him.
“I have two moms. My mom Lisa is my greatest future in my life. She gave me life, love, and birth, and she is always wonderful and beautiful,” Nic once said.
In 2016, Patti shared an emotional update on Facebook, celebrating their incredible journey:
“This is my daughter, Lisa, clowning with her son, Nic. They both have Down syndrome. This year is a landmark for all of us—she turns 50, and he turns 20. Our goal when she became pregnant was for her to know him and have a relationship with him. After all these years, we can honestly say they have overcome the odds and share tremendous love for each other and their small little family unit. She is a single mom, and I couldn’t be prouder.”
Lisa and Nic’s story is a testament to resilience, love, and the importance of defying expectations. Their journey challenges societal norms and serves as a powerful reminder that people with Down syndrome can live fulfilling lives, build meaningful relationships, and create loving families of their own.
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