A married couple was driving along a highway, doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The husband sat behind the wheel, focused on the road ahead, while his wife stared out the window in silence.
After a few miles, she took a deep breath and said in a clear, deliberate voice,
“John, we’ve been married for over twenty years… but I want a divorce.”
John said nothing.
He kept his eyes on the road but slowly pressed his foot on the gas pedal — 45 miles per hour.
The wife glanced at him, a bit annoyed by his silence.
“I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it,” she continued.
He still said nothing.
So she pushed on.
“I’ve been having an affair,” she confessed boldly, her voice steady but cold. “It’s with your best friend, Tom… and honestly, he’s a far better lover than you are.”
John’s knuckles turned white around the steering wheel, but he didn’t speak. The car picked up more speed — 55 miles per hour.
Feeling emboldened, she crossed her arms.
“I want the house,” she demanded.
John’s jaw tightened, but his eyes never left the road. The car crept up to 60 miles per hour.
“I want the car too,” she added, her tone sharp.
65 miles per hour.
“And,” she said, raising her voice slightly, “I’ll be taking the bank accounts, the credit cards, and the boat!”
John’s grip tightened even more. The car began to drift ever so slightly toward the edge of the road — directly toward a massive concrete bridge.
Suddenly, her confidence wavered. She looked over, uneasy.
“This makes me nervous,” she muttered. “Aren’t you listening to me?”
Finally, John spoke — calm, low, and almost amused.
“Of course I’m listening,” he said. “But I’ve got something you don’t.”
She frowned. “Oh, really? And what’s that?”
John’s eyes flicked toward her, then back to the road. A small smirk appeared on his face.
“I’ve got the airbag.”
The car swerved just slightly closer to the bridge before he straightened it again.
Her face went pale. “You wouldn’t dare!” she gasped.
He shrugged. “Guess we’ll see who’s bluffing.”
😳 The Aftermath
A few tense seconds passed. The only sound was the hum of the engine and the wind rushing past.
Finally, she burst out, “Okay! Okay! Maybe we can… talk about this.”
John slowed the car back to 50, then 45. His voice was calm again.
“That’s better. You know, marriage isn’t easy, Linda. But threatening to run off with my best friend? That’s a new one.”
She sighed, slumping into her seat.
“I didn’t think you’d take it this way,” she muttered.
He chuckled dryly. “You didn’t think at all.”
They drove in silence for another few minutes. The tension was thick, but something about the absurdity of it all began to shift the mood.
John suddenly laughed — a low, deep laugh that startled her.
“What’s so funny?” she snapped.
He grinned. “Tom called me last week. Said he was tired of hearing you talk about house renovations. He asked if I could distract you more so he could get some sleep.”
She blinked, confused.
“Wait… what?”
“Yeah,” John continued, “he also told me your ‘affair’ plan was a test. Something about wanting to ‘see how I’d react.’”
Her jaw dropped.
“Wait, you knew?”
“Oh, I knew,” he said. “That’s why I filled your perfume bottle with vinegar yesterday.”
Her mouth fell open. “You didn’t!”
“Oh, I did,” he said, still smiling. “And that new friend of yours at work? The one you text every day? She’s my sister-in-law’s cousin. She told me everything.”
Now it was Linda’s turn to go quiet.
😬 The Twist
When they finally pulled over at a quiet rest stop, she looked out the window, embarrassed.
“So… you’re not mad?” she asked softly.
John leaned back, crossed his arms, and said, “Mad? Nah. I just wanted to see how far you’d go with your little story before realizing I wasn’t the fool you thought I was.”
She turned toward him, guilt washing over her face. “I was just frustrated. You’ve been distant lately. I thought maybe…”
He cut her off gently. “Linda, we’ve both been distant. Life gets hard. But lying and pushing me like that?” He shook his head. “Next time, just talk to me.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m sorry, John.”
He smiled softly. “Good. Now let’s go home before you scare me into speeding again.”
❤️ Epilogue
Back home, Linda took off her coat, still shaken but oddly relieved. She watched John in the kitchen, making coffee like nothing had happened.
When he handed her a mug, he winked. “By the way, I canceled the boat insurance last month. So maybe don’t threaten me on the highway again.”
She laughed through her tears. “Deal.”
And from that day on, every Friday evening, they took drives together — slower ones, quieter ones, and, thankfully, argument-free.
Because sometimes, the best way to fix a marriage…
is to scare the living daylights out of each other first. 😅
