{"id":693,"date":"2025-06-25T14:22:46","date_gmt":"2025-06-25T14:22:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/?p=693"},"modified":"2025-06-25T14:22:46","modified_gmt":"2025-06-25T14:22:46","slug":"my-husband-started-to-smell-really-bad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/?p=693","title":{"rendered":"My husband started to smell really bad&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>My husband started to smell really bad&#8230; I mean, REEK.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I made an appointment for him with the urologist and decided to go with him for support. He went into the doctor&#8217;s office, and the doctor closed the door behind them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Five minutes later, the doctor came out, and his face turned red when he saw me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Doctor<\/strong> (barely holding back laughter):<br>&#8220;You might want to go in and see for yourself.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Me<\/strong>:<br>&#8220;Doctor, what&#8217;s going on? Why are you laughing?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then my husband came out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Him<\/strong>:<br>&#8220;Honey&#8230; I&#8217;m not sure how to say this&#8230; But I\u2026 accidentally shoved a garlic clove up there.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I blinked.<br>&#8220;Up <em>where<\/em>, exactly?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting around like the walls might collapse on him any second.<br>&#8220;You know&#8230; <em>there<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I stared at him.<br>&#8220;You <em>inserted<\/em> garlic. Into your&#8230; man-parts?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He nodded sheepishly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The doctor, still trying (and failing) not to laugh, added,<br>&#8220;He read somewhere online that garlic can <em>cleanse toxins<\/em> and <em>boost testosterone<\/em>. Unfortunately, that&#8217;s not how garlic works. At all.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I slowly turned to my husband.<br>&#8220;So\u2026 the smell?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He nodded.<br>&#8220;Yeah. Turns out garlic takes&#8230; a while to come out. And it <em>comes out strong<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I covered my face and burst out laughing.<br>&#8220;You were about to blame the dog, weren\u2019t you?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He shrugged.<br>&#8220;I <em>considered<\/em> it.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I couldn\u2019t stop laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not a little giggle. I mean full-on, ugly snort-laughing in the urologist\u2019s hallway while my garlic-scented husband stood there, red as a beet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI thought it would be like a natural detox,\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I wiped tears from my eyes. \u201cBabe, that was garlic. Not a magic potion from Middle Earth!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The doctor cleared his throat, clearly enjoying every second.<br>\u201cI\u2019ve seen a lot in this office\u2014trust me\u2014but this? This one\u2019s going in the book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWhat book?\u201d my husband asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He grinned. \u201c<em>The Book of Stuff That\u2019s Going to Make Me Retire Early.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Back in the car, windows cracked <em>wide open<\/em>, I leaned over and kissed my very embarrassed, very pungent husband on the cheek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou know what?\u201d I said. \u201cYou smell like a bad pizza, but at least you&#8217;re trying to stay healthy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He groaned. \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh, of course not,\u201d I said, already pulling out my phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWait\u2014what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cJust making a quick anonymous post,\u201d I teased. \u201cSomething like: \u2018My husband marinated himself in garlic thinking it would cure low energy. Now my house smells like an Italian restaurant that\u2019s been cursed.\u2019 Totally anonymous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He stared ahead, shaking his head. \u201cI married a monster.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I smiled and took his hand. \u201cYou married a woman who\u2019s still laughing with you\u2014even when you smell like spaghetti night gone wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He glanced over at me and smirked.<br>\u201cWell\u2026 at least vampires won\u2019t be a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>One week later<\/strong>, I woke up to the scent of freshly brewed coffee and toast. He walked into the bedroom, holding a tray and wearing a shirt that said: <em>\u201cAsk Me About My Garlic Adventure.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI figured if I\u2019m going to be famous,\u201d he said, setting the tray down, \u201cmight as well lean into it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I looked at the tray. On it was a small wrapped box with a bow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Inside?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A silver necklace with a garlic charm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cJust in case,\u201d he whispered. \u201cYou ever need to keep me in check.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We both burst out laughing\u2014and honestly? That necklace still makes me smile every time I wear it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because love smells weird sometimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it\u2019s still love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My husband started to smell really bad&#8230; I mean, REEK. I made an appointment for him with the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":694,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/693","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=693"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/693\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":695,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/693\/revisions\/695"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}