So the Three Little Pigs decide to treat themselves and go out to dinner one night. No construction, no wolves, no huffing and puffing\u2014just a nice evening out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They get seated at a cozy table, menus in hand, feeling very grown-up about the whole thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A waiter comes over, all smiles, not yet aware of what he\u2019s walked into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCan I start you off with something to drink?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first little piggy doesn\u2019t even hesitate.
\u201cI\u2019ll have a Sprite,\u201d he says confidently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The second pig nods. \u201cI\u2019ll take a Coke.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the waiter turns to the third pig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI want water,\u201d the third pig says, dead serious. \u201cLots and lots of water.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter blinks, scribbles it down, shrugs, and heads off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few minutes later, the drinks arrive. The pigs clink glasses\u2014well, hooves\u2014and settle in. The waiter comes back, ready to take their dinner orders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll have the biggest, juiciest steak you\u2019ve got,\u201d says the first pig. \u201cMedium rare.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust a salad for me,\u201d says the second pig. \u201cGotta watch my figure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter turns to the third pig again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd for you, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWater,\u201d the third pig says. \u201cLots. And lots. Of water.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter pauses. Slowly lowers his pen. Looks at the pig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026You don\u2019t want any food?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNope. Water\u2019s good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter raises an eyebrow but writes it down anyway. He\u2019s worked in restaurants long enough to know better than to ask too many questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dinner arrives. Steak sizzling. Salad crisp and fresh. The third pig sits there happily chugging water like he\u2019s training for a hydration marathon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Slurp. Refill. Slurp again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter is starting to notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A little while later, plates are cleared. The waiter returns, dessert menu in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnyone interested in dessert tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh yeah,\u201d says the first pig. \u201cI\u2019ll have a banana split. Extra whipped cream.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRoot beer float for me,\u201d says the second pig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter slowly turns to the third pig, already bracing himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd for you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWATER,\u201d the third pig says enthusiastically. \u201cLOTS AND LOTS OF WATER!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, the waiter snaps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looks around, lowers his voice, and says, \u201cSir\u2026 I don\u2019t mean to be rude, but you\u2019ve ordered nothing but water all night. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The third pig leans back in his chair, wipes his mouth, and grins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause,\u201d he says proudly, \u201cI\u2019m waiting for the wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first pig chokes on his dessert.
The second pig drops his spoon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter freezes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026The wolf?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh yeah,\u201d the third pig says casually. \u201cYou know. Big guy. Bad breath. Always angry. Blows houses down? That wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter stares. \u201cAnd\u2026 why are you drinking so much water?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The pig leans in, lowers his voice, and whispers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI plan to put out the fire before he even lights it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the waiter slowly nods, backs away, and mutters, \u201cYeah\u2026 that checks out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few minutes later, the manager appears at the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI hear we\u2019re expecting\u2026 a wolf?\u201d the manager asks cautiously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d the third pig says. \u201cHe\u2019s always dramatic. Shows up uninvited. Makes a scene.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The manager sighs. \u201cWould you like me to call security?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo need,\u201d says the pig. \u201cJust keep the water coming.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure enough, the front door suddenly SLAMS open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In walks the wolf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hair wild. Eyes narrowed. Chest puffed out like he\u2019s ready to perform an opera of destruction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI FOUND YOU,\u201d he growls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The restaurant goes silent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wolf takes one step toward the table\u2014and slips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because the third pig has flooded half the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wolf crashes down, slides straight past the pigs\u2019 table, and slams into the dessert cart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Banana splits everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Root beer floats sacrificed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wolf groans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The third pig stands up, adjusts his napkin, and says, \u201cSee? Hydration is key.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter applauds.
The manager comped the meal.
And the wolf? Banned for life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Moral of the story?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Never underestimate the pig who orders water.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lots. And lots. Of water. \ud83d\udca7\ud83d\udc37\ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So the Three Little Pigs decide to treat themselves and go out to dinner one night. No construction,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5332,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5331","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5331"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5331\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5333,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5331\/revisions\/5333"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5332"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5331"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5331"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5331"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}