A duck walks into a bar one slow Tuesday afternoon.
The bartender looks up, freezes, blinks twice, and then stares.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A duck<\/strong>\u2026 ordering a drink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUh\u2026 can I help you?\u201d the bartender finally asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck nods. The bartender stands there, mouth hanging open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2026 talk?\u201d he manages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck sighs. So the bartender pours the drink, the duck takes a seat at the bar like he owns the place, opens a folded newspaper under his wing, and starts reading the sports section.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender watches in shock the entire time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally he asks, \u201cWhat\u2019s a duck doing here, ordering beer and sandwiches?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m working nearby,\u201d the duck replies. \u201cI\u2019m a plasterer. Big construction job at the old library. Hard work. I come here for lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And from that day on, the duck returns every single afternoon<\/em>\u2014always at noon, always ordering the same thing: The bartender grows fond of him. For two weeks, it becomes the highlight of the bartender\u2019s day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Circus posters appear all over town\u2014bright red signs announcing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTHE MAGNIFICENT ROSARIO BROTHERS CIRCUS! That afternoon, the circus ringmaster himself wanders into the bar, ordering a drink. \u201cYou run the circus, right?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes indeed,\u201d the ringmaster replies proudly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender beams. The ringmaster laughs. \u201cNo joke,\u201d the bartender insists. \u201cHe\u2019ll be here any minute.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sure enough, at noon sharp, the door swings open and in waddles the duck\u2014helmet under one wing, work boots under the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender rushes to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cListen, buddy, I\u2019ve got fantastic news! The circus is in town. They want to HIRE you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck freezes, his eyes wide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHire\u2026 me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes! Imagine it!\u201d the bartender says, bouncing with excitement. But the duck just stares.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he shakes his head in disbelief and asks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat on earth would the circus want with a plasterer?<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender blinks, confused. \u201cYeah,\u201d the duck says slowly, \u201cand?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd?! You talk! You drink beer! You read newspapers! You\u2019re incredible!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck shrugs. The bartender tries everything\u2014persuasion, praise, enthusiasm\u2014but the duck only waves a wing dismissively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo thanks, mate. Now, about my sandwich\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because what happened the next day changed everything.**<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck didn\u2019t show up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not at noon. The bartender kept glancing at the clock, at the door, at the empty barstool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A whole week passed with no sign of him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, worried, the bartender walked down to the old library where the duck worked. A single sign hung on the chain-link fence:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPROJECT CLOSED DUE TO STRUCTURAL DAMAGE.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender felt a pit in his stomach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He asked around\u2014neighbors, workers, even the mailman. \u201cThere was an accident. Roof collapse. The plasterer duck was in the wrong place at the wrong time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender went home heartbroken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But three days later\u2014late at night, as he swept the floors\u2014he heard the familiar sound of webbed feet slapping the wooden planks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He looked up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And there he was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Covered in dust, feathers ruffled, wearing a tiny cast on one wing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re alive!\u201d the bartender cried. \u201cWhat happened? Everyone said you were gone!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI nearly was,\u201d the duck replied, climbing awkwardly onto his stool. \u201cCeiling came down. Messy job. I got out with a broken wing, but the company\u2014well, they shut everything down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender exhaled in relief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo what now? No work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNope,\u201d the duck said. \u201cLost the site. Lost the paycheck. Lost everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bartender hesitated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell\u2026 the circus still wants you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The duck paused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou know\u2026 I\u2019ve been thinking about that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crowds adored him. He became a star. \u2728 \u201cDAZZLING DONALD \u2014 THE WORLD\u2019S ONLY TALKING, BEER-DRINKING, NEWSPAPER-READING PLASTERER DUCK!\u201d<\/strong> \u2728<\/p>\n\n\n\n And every night after the show, he\u2019d sit in his dressing room, sipping a pint and reading the newspaper\u2014just like always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes, when the circus returned to town, he\u2019d waddle into the bar, climb onto his old stool, and greet the bartender with a grin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMate,\u201d he\u2019d say, \u201cyou were right. Best opportunity of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the bartender would smile back, shaking his head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnly you,\u201d he\u2019d say, \u201ccould make plastering look like the wrong career for a duck.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A duck walks into a bar one slow Tuesday afternoon.The bartender looks up, freezes, blinks twice, and then<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4078,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4077"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4077\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4079,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4077\/revisions\/4079"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4078"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\u201cYeah, mate. I\u2019ll have a pint of your draft beer and a ham sandwich, thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cClearly. Otherwise, this would be a very strange order.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A pint, a ham sandwich, and the newspaper.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
The duck tips well.
He even laughs at the bartender\u2019s jokes.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThen, one morning, something exciting happens.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Now Hiring Amazing Talent!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender sees an opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve got something for you. A real star. A duck.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA talking duck? Are you joking?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHuge crowds! Bright lights! Center stage! Travel the world!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re\u2026 you\u2019re a talking duck.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo what? I\u2019m a plasterer. I\u2019ve got a good job. I\u2019m not running away to join some circus.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n**But that wasn\u2019t the end of it.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Not at one.
Not at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The construction site was shut down, the equipment hauled away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone said the same thing:<\/p>\n\n\n\nAnd so the duck joined the circus.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Children screamed with delight.
He rode motorcycles, cracked jokes, danced on stilts, even juggled flaming torches\u2014though never more than two at a time because of the wing cast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The posters read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n