{"id":1588,"date":"2025-08-14T15:33:10","date_gmt":"2025-08-14T15:33:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/?p=1588"},"modified":"2025-08-14T15:33:10","modified_gmt":"2025-08-14T15:33:10","slug":"two-ladies-were-talking-in-heaven-how-they-went-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/?p=1588","title":{"rendered":"Two Ladies Were Talking In Heaven How They Went There!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Two ladies were talking in heaven.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Hi! My name is Wanda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> Hi! I\u2019m Lynne. How did you die?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> I froze to death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> How horrible!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to feel warm and sleepy. Then I finally drifted off and died a peaceful death. What about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> I died of a heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him. I ran upstairs, searched every room\u2014nothing. I ran downstairs, checked the basement\u2014nothing. Then I ran all over the house, getting more and more worked up. My heart just couldn\u2019t take it, and I collapsed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Oh, wow. If you had just looked in the freezer, we\u2019d both still be alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne blinked at her, half amused, half horrified.
Lynne:<\/strong> Wait\u2026 are you telling me\u2014?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Oh yes. I was hiding in there. My husband had come home early from work, and I thought he\u2019d start asking questions. Next thing I know, I hear the garage door open, panic sets in, and I climb into the freezer thinking it\u2019s the perfect hiding place. Bad idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> So, let me get this straight\u2014you froze to death hiding from your husband, and I died looking for my cheating husband, and both our deaths were basically caused by men who didn\u2019t even know what was going on?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Pretty much. Romantic, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also Read : The Hidden Dangers of Kissing a Deceased Person on the Lips<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both women laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They started walking along a soft golden path, the kind that looked like it had been designed by a luxury spa manager with an unlimited budget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019m still kind of mad. All that running around, all that drama\u2014and he wasn\u2019t even cheating. I bet he\u2019s sitting at home right now eating leftover lasagna and wondering why I was being so weird that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Oh, honey\u2026 give it a few weeks. The curiosity will eat him alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> And your husband?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Oh, he\u2019ll never forget \u201cthat one day Wanda disappeared.\u201d But you know what? He\u2019ll probably just assume I went to my sister\u2019s and never came back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They both chuckled again, the sound oddly light and free in the heavenly air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A third woman approached, wearing what could only be described as \u201ceternal yoga clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3rd woman:<\/strong> Hi! I\u2019m Carol. How\u2019d you ladies die?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne smirked and pointed at Wanda.
Lynne:<\/strong> You first, freezer girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda rolled her eyes but retold her tale. Carol listened, mouth hanging open, before bursting into laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol:<\/strong> Wow. And here I thought my death was embarrassing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> Oh? Do tell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol:<\/strong> Choked on a gummy bear. Not even the sour kind\u2014just the plain, boring, cheap ones from the gas station. My obituary says I \u201cpassed peacefully,\u201d but really, I was flailing like a car dealership balloon until the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The three of them spent hours swapping ridiculous death stories\u2014one woman who tripped over her own cat, another who tried to fix a toaster while standing in a puddle, and a man who thought skydiving would be a great first-date idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, Wanda looked thoughtful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanda:<\/strong> You know, I think Heaven has its own \u201cDarwin Awards\u201d section.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lynne:<\/strong> Oh, definitely. And we\u2019re front-page material.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol:<\/strong> Hey, at least up here, nobody judges. In fact, they hand out snacks and let you roast yourself for all eternity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They all laughed again, the sound echoing through the gardens of Heaven. For the first time, none of them cared how they got there\u2014only that they\u2019d found each other.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two ladies were talking in heaven. Wanda: Hi! My name is Wanda. Lynne: Hi! I\u2019m Lynne. How did<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1589,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1588","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1588"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1588\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1590,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1588\/revisions\/1590"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1588"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1588"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/states-news.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1588"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}